The five cards I pulled were: Fisherman's Waders, Drainpipe (in pieces), Plant Food Sticks, Assorted Bells & Whistles and Cork Bulletin Board.

First off, I don't see any haystack (o sure, there may be hay up in the loft, but I can't climb up there — acrophobia, you see). Nor do I see any particular reason for Farmer Brawn to be so het up over a missing needle. Sounds like a habit better broken, to me. So I decide that this crazy farmer needs some perspective on the world, and I'm just the guy to show it.

Exploding into frantic action, I grab one of the used car tires and tear out the inner tube I assume is still inside. I stretch the inner tube around the four corners of my cork bulletin board (it's specially reinforced so it doesn't crack, you see) and start pegging plant food sticks into the underside (it's specially softened, too, notwithstanding its reinforcedness). Then I stab a length of drainpipe right through the middle of the cork board (soft enough, and yet reinforced . . . wonderful stuff, cork). Mystified, Farmer Brawn watches me haul on my fisherman's waders and start huffing and puffing on the inner tube to inflate it (a bellows, my kingdom for a bellows! Good thing I quit smoking 8 years ago, speaking of habits better broken). Then I tear off the drain cover and plonk down the inflated-tube-cork-board raft so that the drainpipe goes right down the drain (where else?).

"What in tarnation are you up to?" Farmer Brawn hollers, waggling the muzzle of the blunderbuss. I wheeze, "Forget yer needle, I'ma catch you a pickerel!" and, using the drainpipe as a straw (hey, straw! hey, stack! whatever), I suck up a big mouthful of drain sludge and spit it at the astonished farmer. "Gotta wet my whistle!" I explain feverishly, which reminds me: from my assortment, I toss him a fish whistle (like dog whistle, only deeper). "Perch this in yer largemouth and give us a bass, that'll bring 'em!"

Perceiving that I'm crazier than he is, Farmer Brawn changes his mind about his silly needle, and departs at a salmon run.

Would this be a valid Kontraption in a real-game situation?

You make the call.

To answer this one, you'll have to read the Rulebook (unless you've memorized it already). Give us a fish tale at kontraptions.tektolio@oktabo.com and let us know your verdicthy.

Reassess the situation.

P.S.

I can't come up with gems like this in real-game situations, so don't mistake me for an overly clever sort of fellow. I had hours to think about this one. And I turn a better written phrase than an oral. The pen, after all, is mightier than the s(poken)word.

Nonetheless, this is excellent practice, and practice often cannot simulate real-game situations. Practice, practice, practice nonetheless!